Around the world

Very unstable at the moment... i think i really have a problem... i am half-high while writing this... had a little too much too strong to drink... but if i still type straight without errors, i think i is basically ok... zan.... who drinks by herself at home...nowadayz?

Actually i spent an evening out casual drinking... he's back. It was nice catching up and how on-the-ball he was with meeting me once he was back. it's weird how the man i loved the most before, NEVER did that for me, ever...

Sometimes i feel that its coz i know theres nothing for us to think abt thus no way i can get hurt that makes me so comfortable... i cant go through all that shit another time. As i say... i would rather not be the woman at home crying lor, so committing right now, is limited to the truly good kinda man. who is yet to appear...and so...truly out of the question.

I dont know how things r suppose to go now... i am not suppose to feel anything...and honestly i don't think i do, just that i know the day might come that i may not be able to stay this way all the time anymore.

"...turn a different corner and we never would have met..."... i wish...