new beginnings

i is back!

i was bored with the old skin i had with the egghead chick/duck. this one simple enough. i just want to write when i wana write so it don't really matter right?

it's been a tough half a year. 2007 has start for quite a while so it's time to like be less manic depressive and be more positive. this is my first step to finding myself and my life. i've been lost for over a year - not good.

the past few weeks I have been feeling better now that...

- I HAVE QUIT-TED ...*hahahaha* though i am treated like second rate citizen at the moment and basically nobody cares in helping you get your work done... i still feel XTREMELY relieved. i actually feel my disposition moving up a notch

- "All my base... are belong to you"... DO NOT ask me what that means but it cheered me up... =) the accompanying message to this bunch of cheer-up-with-"cheese and corn"-frowers. it's sweet... i can't say i am not touched. they arrived one pre-lunch afternoon after a real depressive release chat apparently to cheer me up and keep me off the edge... nice...
- i saw one-legged ducks! haah... i pity the duckys at the gardens it's been pouring non-stop and well...i haven't really seen them in the waters... it must be friggin cold lor... just see them standing one-legged (i thought only flamingoes do that?) with their heads tucked under their wings.
- i have a "free" notebook... a RED one at that lor! it is a piece of beauty man! Panasonic Toughbook CFW4 weighing a mere 1.2kg! beat that! it's loaned to me for one-mth trial thereafter i have the option to purchase it at 50% discount. i is VERY tempted... its batt lasts about 4 to 5hrs when i work nonstop on it. However specs not so desirable (512RAM, Pentium M processor 1.2GHz ultra low voltage processor, Intel 915 GMS chip set)... not top range by at 1899... worth it bo?? i am jobless soon so i will really think abt it. but hor... its still dam chio... hehehhh
- my jet-setting globe-trotter came back from europe... and he bought me a sleeping/ snoring pig... duh... and of course chanel parfum... too busy to do actual shopping. ok la... credit has to be given for remembering that i use a lot of chanel products. heee.... thanks to my evil twin lor... but well i think i am slowly but steadily becoming a convert =)
the pig actually snores and have an expanding-contracting stomach to match the snoring. i is amused.

- my brother is settled down. i will miss him still and whenever i pass by the accident site (which is often, considering its by AYE) it just really brings up a lot of emotions pouring over - blame, guilt, anger, sadness, pity but the heart ache is immense. i cannot put in words the hand-around-my-heart sorta pain that i feel still. i just don't think i've been the best of sister - that's really the worse bit of everything.
- i have stopped smoking. Day 5 of cigarette-free living. it was really getting me down, i really felt that i smelt bad, my running was super affected - perpetual lo-energy and well i figured i did it for quite a few months before so i can do it again after all i picked it up after this job i'm doing really almost killed me. now that i quit-ted it's time i quit the cigs too. So well done for me, everyday i spent not smoking, makes me prouder

- i joined a care group. just thought i would try it out. i joined a new creation care group in jalan membina. ok... but well i am still overwhelmed by the tongues thing and also how come people talk so much. mayb it's a release and maybe i should learn to share more. i am not certain i will continue but i think it was an encouraging first step and i'm not totally turned off by the idea. i will kiv it until the next session comes along.